情商的特点与能力

情商是什么?高情商有什么特点?以下这篇文章可以帮助你

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE & EMOTIONAL COMPETENCE

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE:

   A form of intelligence relating to the emotional side of life, such as the ability to recognize and manage one’s own and others’ emotions, to motivate oneself and restrain impulses, and to handle interpersonal relationships effectively.

   * Originated by Daniel Goldman, psychologist, denoting the cluster of traits/abilities relating to the emotional side of life
   * major components of emotional intelligence: knowing our own emotions, managing our own emotions, motivating ourselves,recognizing the emotions of others,and handling relationships

The Ten Habits of Emotionally Intelligent People
Copyright 1999 Steve Hein, The EQ Institute – May be copied for educational uses.

High EQ people:

1. Label their feelings, rather than labeling people or situations.
“I feel impatient.” vs “This is ridiculous.”
“I feel hurt and bitter”. vs. “You are an insensitive jerk.”
“I feel afraid.” vs. “You are driving like a idiot.”

2. Distinguish between thoughts and feelings.  
Thoughts: I feel like…& I feel as if…. & I feel that
Feelings: I feel: (feeling word)

3. Take responsibility for their feelings.  
“I feel jealous.” vs. “You are making me jealous.”

4. Use their feelings to help them make decisions.  
“How will I feel if I do this?” “How will I feel if I don’t”

5. Show respect for other people’s feelings.  
They ask “How will you feel if I do this?” “How will you feel if I don’t.”

6. Feel energized, not angry.  
They use what others call “anger” to help them feel energized to take productive action.

7. Validate other people’s feelings.  
They show empathy, understanding, and acceptance of other people’s feelings.

8. Practice getting a positive value from their negative emotions.  
They ask themselves: “How do I feel?” and “What would help me feel better?”
They ask others “How do you feel?” and “What would help you feel better?”

9. Don’t advise, command, control, criticize, judge or lecture to others.  
They realize it doesn’t feel good to be on the receiving end of such behavior, so they avoid it.

10. Avoid people who invalidate them, or don’t respect their feelings.
 As much as possible, they choose to associate only with other people with high EQ.

EMOTIONAL COMPETENCE:

   “A learned capability based on emotional intelligence that results in outstanding performance at work. Our emotional intelligence determines our potential for learning the practical skills based on the five elements : self-awareness, motivation, self-regulation, empathy, and adeptness in relationships. Our emotional competence shows how much of that potential we have translated into on-the-job capabilities.” (Goldman, Working with Emotional Intelligence)

   The table below lists Goldmans’ 5 dimensions of emotional intelligence and the 25 emotional competencies.

   The emotional intelligence capabilities are Independent (each contributes to job performance);Interdependent (each draws to some extent on certain others with strong interactions);Hierarchical (the emotional intelligence capabilities build upon one another);Necessary, but not sufficient (having an emotional intelligence doesn’t guarantee the competencies will be demonstrated); Generic (different jobs make differing competence demands.

THE EMOTIONAL COMPETENCE FRAMEWORK
Personal Competence
SELF-AWARENESS  

   * Emotional Awareness:recognizing one’s emotions and their effect
   * Accurate Self-assessment: knowing one’s strengths and limits
   * Self-confidence: A strong sense of one’s self-worth and capabilities

SELF-REGULATION  

   * Self-control: Keeping disruptive emotions and impulses in check
   * Trustworthiness: Maintaining standards of honesty and integrity
   * Conscientiousness: Taking responsibility for personal performance
   * Adaptability: Flexibility in handling change
   * Innovation: Being comfortable with novel ideas, approaches and new information

MOTIVATION  

   * Achievement drive: Striving to improve or meet a standard of excellence
   * Commitment: Aligning with the goals of the group or organization
   * Initiative: Readiness to act on opportunities
   * Optimism: Persistence in pursuing goals despite obstacles and setbacks

Social Competence
EMPATHY  

   * Understanding others: sensing others’ feelings and perspectives, taking an active interest in their concerns
   * Developing others: Sensing others development needs and bolstering their abilities
   * Service orientation: Anticipating, recognizing, and meeting customers’ needs
   * Leveraging diversity: Cultivating opportunities through different kinds of people
   * Political Awareness: Reading a group’s emotional currents and power relationships

SOCIAL SKILLS  

   * Influence: Wielding effective tactics for persuasion
   * Communication: Listening openly and sending convincing messages
   * Conflict management: Negotiating and resolving disagreements
   * Leadership: Inspiring and guiding individuals and groups
   * Change Catalyst: Initiating or managing change
   * Building bonds: Nurturing instrumental relationships
   * Collaboration and cooperation: Working with others toward shared goals
   * Team capabilities: creating group synergy in pursuing collective goals

The competencies:
PERSONAL COMPETENCE

SELF-AWARENESS

  1.
     Emotional Awareness– People with this competence:
     Know which emotions they are feeling and why
     Realize the links between their feelings and what they think and say
     Recognize how their feelings affect their performance
     Have a guiding awareness of their values and goals

  2. Accurate Self-Assessment — People with this competence:
     Are aware of their strengths and weaknesses
     Reflective, learning from experience
     Open to candid feedback, new perspectives, continuous learning, and self-development
     Able to show a sense of humour and perspective about themselves
     BLIND SPOTS: Blind Ambition-need to win or be right at any cost
     Unrealistic Goals- sets overly ambitious, unattainable goals for group
     Relentless Striving- compulsively hardworking at expense of all else, vulnerable to burnout
     Drives Others-pushes others too hard, takes over instead of delegating
     Power Hungry- seeks power for own reason rather than for company
     Insatiable need for recognition- addicted to glory-takes credit for other’s work and blames them for mistakes
     Preoccupation with Appearance-needs to look good at all costs-craves material trappings
     Need to seem perfect-enraged by or rejects criticism, can’t admit mistakes

  3. Self Confidence –People with this competence:
     Present themselves with self-assurance; have “presence”
     Can voice views that are unpopular and go out on a limb for what is right
     Are decisive, able to make sound decisions despite uncertainties and pressures

SELF-REGULATION

  1. Self-control –People with this competency:
     Manage their impulsive feelings and distressing emotions well
     Stay composed, positive and unflappable even in trying moments
     Think clearly and stay focused under pressure

  2. Trustworthiness and conscientiousness –People with this competency:
     Trustworthiness–Act ethically and are above reproach
     Build trust through their reliability and authenticity
     Admit their own mistakes and confront unethical actions in others
     Take tough, principled stands even if they are unpopular
     Conscientiousness –Meet commitments and keep promises
     Hold themselves accountable for meeting their objectives
     Are organized and careful in their work

  3. Innovation and Adaptability –People with this competency:
     Innovation – Seek out fresh ideas from a wide variety of sources
     Entertain original solutions to problems
     Generate new ideas
     take fresh perspectives and risks in their thinking
     Adaptability – Smoothly handle multiple demands, shifting priorities, and rapid change
     Adapt thier responses and tactics to fit fluid circumstances
     Are flexible in how they see events

MOTIVATION

  1. Achievement Drive –People with this competency:
     Are results-oriented, with a high drive to meet their objectives and standards
     Set challenging goals and take calculated risks
     Pursue information to reduce uncertainty and find ways to do things better
     Learn how to improve their performance

  2. Committment –People with this competency:
     Readily make sacrifices to meet a larger organizational goal
     Find a sense of purpose in the larger mission
     Use the group’s core values in making decisions and clarifying choices
     Actively seek out opportunities to fulfill the group’s mission

  3. Initiative and Optimism –People with this competency:
     Initiative: Are ready to seize opportunities
     Pursue goals beyond what’s required or expected of them
     Cut through red tape and bend the rules when necessary to get the job done
     Mobilize others through unusual, enterprising efforts
     Optimism: Persist in seeking goals despite obstacles and setbacks
     Operate from hope of success rather than fear of failure
     See setbacks as due to manageable circumstance rather than personal flaw

SOCIAL COMPETENCE

EMPATHY

  1. Understanding Others –People with this competency:
     Are attentive to emotional cues and listen well
     Show sensitivity and understand others’ perspectives
     Help out based on understanding other people’s needs and feelings

  2. Developing Others –People with this competency:
     Acknowledge and reward people’s strengths and accomplishments
     Offer useful feedback and identify people’s needs for further growth
     Mentor, give timely coaching, and offer assignments that challenge and foster a person’s skills

  3. Service Orientation –People with this competency:
     Understand customers/clients needs and math them to services of products
     Seek ways to increase customers’ satisfaction and loyalty
     Gladly offer appropriate assistance
     Grasp a customer’s perspective, acting as a trusted advisor

  4. Leveraging Diversity –People with this competency:
     Respect and relate well to people from varied backgrounds
     Understand diverse worldviews and are sensitive to group differences
     See diversity as opportunity, creating an environment where diverse people can thrive
     Challenge bias and intolerance

  5. Political Awareness –People with this competency:
     Accurately read key power relationships
     Detect crucial social networks
     Understand the forces that shape views and actions of clients, customers, or competitors
     Accurately read organzational and external realities

SOCIAL SKILLS

  1. Influence –People with this competency:
     Are skilled at winning people over
     Fine-tune presntations to appeal to the listener
     Use complex strategies like indirect influence to build consensus and support
     Orchestrate dramatic events to effectively make a point

  2. Communication –People with this competence
     Are effective in give-and-take, registering emotional cues in attuning their message
     Deal with difficult issues straightforwardly
     Listen well, seek mutual understanding, and welcome sharing of information fully
     Foster open communication and stay receptive to bad news as well as good

  3. Conflict Management –People with this competency:
     Handle difficult people and tense situations with diplomacy and tact
     Spot potential conflict, bring disagreements into the open and help to de-escalate
     Encourage debate and open discussion
     Orchestrate win-win solutions

  4. Leadership –People with this competency:
     Articulate and arouse enthusiasm for a shared vision and mission
     Step forward to lead as needed, regardless of poeition
     Guide the performance of others while holding them accountable
     Lead by example

  5. Change Catalyst –People with this competency:
     Recognize the need to change and remove barriers
     Challenge the status quo to acknowledge the need for change
     Champion the change and enlist others in its pursuit
     Model the change expected of others

  6. Building Bonds –People with this competency:
     Cultivate and maintain extensize informal networks
     Seek out relationships that are mutually beneficial
     Build rapport and keep others in the loop
     Make and maintain personal friendships among work associates

  7. Collaboration and Cooperation –People with this competency:
     Balance a focus on task with attention to relationships
     Collaborate, sharing plans, information and resources
     Promote a friendly, coooperative climate
     Spot and nurture opportunities for collaboration

  8. Team Capabilities –People with this competency:
     Model team qualities like respect, helpfulness, and cooperation
     Draw all members into active and enthusiastic participation
     Build team identity, esprit de corps, and commitment
     Protect the group and its reputation, share credit

RESOURCES:

Books:
Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goldman (1995), Working with Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goldman (1998)

Online test of Emotional Intelligence visit

Daniel Goldman’s Emotional Intelligence Test or

CYBERIA SHRINK- EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE QUIZ

Links and resources for Emotional Intelligence see

EQI.org

The Consortium for Research on Emotional Intelligence in Organizations

http://webhome.idirect.com/~kehamilt/ipsyeq.html

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